Getting Comfortable in the Uncomfortable
While partway through a sustained pace interval on a long run yesterday to clear my head, an interesting parallel occurred to me. In order to accomplish anything meaningful, there are times where it is necessary to settle into discomfort and even get comfortable in the uncomfortable.
As I was trying my best to ignore my tired and protesting legs, knowing I wanted the sense of accomplishment of completing the challenging workout I had set out to do, I wrestled with the idea of getting comfortable in the uncomfortable moments. I realized the premise, something I had been doing for years anyways, had far greater impacts than just logging more miles on my sneakers.
1. Breathe In
One of my favorite tactics when I am struggling during a hard work out is to focus entirely on my breath. Sometimes, terrain permitting, I close my eyes and focus on nothing beyond my breath.
In … Out … In … Out …
I change the duration of each inhale and exhale. I pause between each breath. I alternate between nose breathing and mouth breathing. This exercise can easily distract me for five or more minutes and is generally enough to get my mind off of the temporary discomfort I was experiencing.
The same tactic can be applied to stressful, upsetting, or frustrations of life. Drawing the attention inward and removing the focus from the temporary irritant is a reset on perspective and can shift one’s attention to what inward actions are possible rather than what external inhibitors are being encountered.
2. Look Out
Yesterday was an incredibly beautiful January day in Texas. The sky was peppered with puffy white clouds against the vivid blue backdrop providing welcome interruption from the sun’s warm rays as my soles persisted rhythmically on the pavement. Barren trees in their winter state provided brief cover from the sun as well and also offered a resting haven for local birds. Off in the distance, my eyes noticed the slight undulation of the terrain, mostly gaining with vehicular bridges rather than natural creations. I began to visualize myself on race day, passing by each mile marker until ultimately experiencing the exhilaration of sprinting, drawing energy from unknown places as I cross the finish line, with an enormous grin and eyes glistening with tears of joy.
With life challenges, be it professional or personal, looking around and also towards the future is another way to settle into the discomfort of a passing situation. Approaching the present situation with gratitude, acknowledging the good things as well as the challenges helps to shift the perspective to a more positive place. Solving problems and pushing through struggles is more likely to yield a positive result when a positive headspace is maintained. Visualizing what life looks like in the future, on the other side of the present affray, is another way to coax oneself through uncomfortable times.
3. Distract Yourself
Grocery lists, parenting improvements, hindsight review of work decisions, brainstorming new ideas, consideration of different ways I can display love to my spouse, and planning our next family vacation are some examples of completely unrelated thoughts consuming my mind during difficult parts of my long runs. Anything to fully consume my brain and remove focus from the temporary pains of physical exertion qualifies. Sometimes, I will resort to counting: steps, street lights I pass, joints in the concrete sidewalk, birds, black SUVs, houses with tile roofs, … the list goes on and on.
I employ the distraction tactic most often when I am writing or am preparing a presentation and am struggling to extract my ideas on to paper (or, really, into my computer). I will physically remove myself from my desk most often and walk to the mailbox or go into another room in my house and tidy for a few minutes. Interrupting the thought process helps remove the pressure and focus on being stuck. By doing some other entirely different activity, the brain has an opportunity to continue with the thought with out the pressure of resolving it right then. Usually, when returning to the task at hand, I find I am no longer stuck and a flurry of ideas are poised to be grasped. For really big ideas, sleeping during the distraction period, I also find to be helpful.
4. Remember Why
When my girls, now four and six, describe me, I strive for “active,” “persistent,” “ambitious,” and “steadfast” to be the spirit of the words they use. I want them to see the power of remaining active to their mom’s body, mind, and spirit. During tough runs — either the short duration at a spicy pace, the long runs at leisurely paces, and the ordinary activity every day to maintain fitness, I want my girls to see my core values in action. They are my why.
I find personal and professional situations where I struggle with discomfort tend to boil down to a misalignment with my personal values. Whenever I am uncomfortable, I try to assess the situation in comparison to my core five values. I used John Maxwell’s value cards as a tool to define my values:
- Family
- Faith
- Integrity
- Achievement
- Service
With these core values identified, and with Family intentionally prioritized first, I check for misalignment with my values. When I am acting in accordance with these characteristics, I am most alive. Often identifying the misalignment isn’t the issue, rather the resolution and return back to my values is the struggle. Those girls who encourage me to persist through tough runs, also help guide my decisions as an entrepreneur, leader, encourager, engineer, wife, friend, and follower of Christ. Remembering one’s internal motivation helps to settle into discomfort and ensure ensuring actions are consistent with personal values.
5. Keep Moving
When all else fails to bring comfort to a tough work out, I will focus on continuing to move, even if it isn't as fast as desired. Slowing down to a jog or even a walk is still better than sitting in my office. Sometimes, the forward progress snowballs into something far greater if just the momentum can be maintained.
Newton’s first law of motion, the law of inertia, states this concept perfectly: an object in motion will remain in motion until a force is acted upon it
In life, continuing to push towards achievement is key, even if the progress is slow or seemingly insignificant. Each day, I select one thing that I deem as a “must do” before I go to sleep as a practical application of the concept of inertia. The “must do” item is usually a critical item towards getting me towards my goals, but it need not be a “big” thing. Making a Business Development call, setting aside an uninterrupted hour to finish a deliverable, taking off the day to spend quality family time at the Zoo are a few examples of my “must do” for the last month as recorded in my Prioritization Planner. The important concept is doing the thing, not necessarily what the particulars of the activity are.
The above five tips may be used individually or in conjunction, while exercising and also in life to get comfortable in the uncomfortable moments. I’d be interested to learn if there are additional strategies commonly employed to persevere challenging moments in life.
